Did Mary get stuck between Xmas and New Year?
I’m feeling a little blue
We’re in the 2nd week of 2014 and I should have made and tossed at least a dozen New Year resolutions by now. But I’m stuck.
I’m not ready for 2014. Not yet.
2013 was a good year
The book got done and sold out. I know … I know … I’ve harped on that enough already. But seriously it was a big deal. I want to stay in with the high of that “birthing” a little longer, to feel once more that up swell of warmth in my chest when I held the boxy little thing in my hot hands. All that work, that revision. There it was, my baby!
My mother recovered from her three little strokes. Her medication’s all sorted out. She’s walking, albeit with a limp, and back at her thrice-a-week mahjong games. It was wonderful to see, the week by week improvements since October.
Middle Son got all his immigration matters sorted out and is nicely settled in his country of choice, Australia. That was a load of our minds.
We had a great house-party at Xmas with near and dear. And then, to stretch the old year out, Heart Guy, Oldest and her Husband, Middle and Youngest and I had a lazy intimate 5 days at the beach in Central Vietnam doing nothing much at all.
On the ether, I enrolled in two online writings courses and met a tribe of wonderful fellow writers who supported my 2013 with inspirational posts and vulnerable sharings almost daily. . They have taught me about the other dimensions heart-to-heart connection can have. Their words have called me towards greater authenticity in my material living praying hours and days.
Yes, 2013 was indeed a year of many treasures …
Letting go is hard to do
But it’s almost two weeks into 2014 this morning. It’s time to let go of the old and embrace the the new. The Chinese and Vietnamese Lunar New Year, which follows on the Gregorian, is waiting impatiently for its turn. By end January, the soft sliding year of the snake will be making way for the year of the flying horse.
But I’m not ready to let go. I’m not ready for the upcoming months and their challenges.
Down is what I feel this morning. Down is where I feel like staying, snuggled up in my comforter, the curtains drawn, half dreaming.
My 85 year old mother’s readier than I am. She’s looking forward to a trip to the UK in the summer, to attend yet another grandchild’s graduation. It will take twelve hours on an airplane. Afterwards, she’s going on a bed and breakfast tour of Southern England. Back in end September, when half of her wasn’t working properly, we couldn’t have hoped for half of that. But there she is, her plans all set, giving us instructions about her hotel bookings and telling us to surf the net for the cheapest air-fares.
Middle Son’s all set too. We sent him off at the airport last night. He sent a text this morning saying he’s arrived home safely, his home. Settled now, his dissertation done, he’s starting on the next phase of his life. He’ll be looking for a “proper” job, the one he attended university to train for.
My Singapore book-distributor, my US agent, the company secretaries of the corporate boards I sit on … They’re all set too. My calendar’s fast filling with appointments. Heart Guy and Oldest Daughter have already put in their requests for the Lunar New Year Menu. My tribe-writer friends are on their 2nd and 3rd posts about New Year. There are the empty pages of 2 new works-in-progress waiting for me …
I need to get off my ass and start 2014. But here I am sitting … still sitting …